I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
