Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found puke in my bra..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
