just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
