her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
