i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
