she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
