I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just pee around me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
