I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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