I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
