i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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