there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
