I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
