we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have post one night stand depression
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
