It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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