My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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