It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
