I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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