I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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