i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
