is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
