youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
