Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
