You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
