that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
