Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
