So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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