i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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