I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
