somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
