i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
