I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
