Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
