At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
