The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize