You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
