Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
