Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
