Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
