Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
whose parrot is this?
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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