Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
