This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
