Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize