she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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