I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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