All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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