Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
