There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Couch. On fire.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
