Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
