ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
