No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I can't turn off my feet"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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