I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
