God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
