the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize