Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
