You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
did i walk over a car last night?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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