Too much gin, very little bucket
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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