as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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