Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He passed out mid-signature
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
