How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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