dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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