honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
