Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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