Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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