is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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