dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
