Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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