It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
