if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
