he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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