Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
