He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize