I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
