She is in my trunk
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize