Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
