So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
