Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
