I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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