Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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