wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
