whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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