i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
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Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
