Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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