hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
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